It’s OK to Be Human

Welcome to “Onsite,” a fresh perspective brought to you by contributing writer Matt Ohley, general superintendent at Ajax Paving Industries, Tampa Division. In this column, Ohley cuts through the noise and delves into the challenges encountered by those shaping our world through construction. Ohley offers a unique perspective, amplifying the voices of those who experience the daily pulse of life on the job site.

Onsite is our commitment to breaking down the barriers and misconceptions that shroud the construction profession. Ohley aims to initiate open and honest conversations, from job insecurity to the transient nature of projects, physical strain and often-overlooked mental health struggles.

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“Leave your feelings at home.” There’s few among us, if any, who haven’t heard that phrase, or one similar, on the jobsite.

Construction work is hard; it takes tough people to do it. I currently work in the roadway industry, specifically for an asphalt contractor. It takes a special breed of person to place 300-degree material on a 100-degree day for 10 or 12 hours a day.

It’s not for the faint of heart.

You have to be tough — real tough.

I, myself, have set forms, and placed and finished concrete for over 15 years.

Have you ever placed and finished a “high-early” mix on a 100-degree day at a 2- to 3-inch slump?  If you have, you know. If you haven’t, you don’t want to know.

Construction can be extremely brutal on the body; that’s a given; but it’s equally brutal on the mind … and the emotions. You don’t need a degree in psychology to see it. One simply has to stand in the daily huddle first thing in the morning and pay close attention to the appearance of the people standing around, getting ready to start their day, and then compare that image to the looks on their faces and their body language later that afternoon.

They’re beat, whipped, exhausted — many times merely a shell of what they appeared as that morning.

This goes on day in and day out.

Again, one must be tough, but does that mean one can’t have feelings?  I mean, you can have feelings like anger (totally acceptable) … but can you be sad, depressed, anxious, hurt?  Nah …  that’s for the weak — and there’s no place for weakness out here.

Somewhere along the line, we decided that, in order to be in the trades, you had to become something other than human. Doesn’t that seem odd? Isn't it just part of being human to have feelings? If so, why is it having them on the jobsite is unacceptable or taboo?

I’m still on jobsites almost every day, and I reject the concept that you need to “leave your feelings at the gate.”

I talk about my feelings; I talk with the tough guys that I work with about my feelings, and I ask them about theirs. Can you guess what I have overwhelmingly found? Of course you can; they are dying to admit that they too have feelings, that they have struggles, that they have a hard time “leaving them at home,” and that it feels really good when someone else admits to having feelings too and cares enough to listen to theirs.

And you know what else I’ve found? When you show up as a human yourself and cut through the nonsense notion that there is no room for them to be humans too, there is a mutual respect that develops and it’s nearly impossible to measure. And if I have to tell you how paramount respect is to success in this industry then, well, you might be in the wrong industry.

Allow me to challenge you to be OK with being human, and beyond that, to facilitate conversations with those around you that suggest it’s OK to be human and have feelings.

Why?

Because it is; it’s OK. In fact, it’s better than OK — it’s normal (if there is such a thing).

Matt Ohley is a construction professional with over 27 years in the industry, currently serving as general superintendent for Ajax Paving Industries of Florida's Tampa Division. Matt started in the industry as a general laborer, eventually working into the roles of foreman, superintendent, project manager and general superintendent. He is passionate about the industry and refers to the people in the field as his "tribe." In his time outside of work, he enjoys spending time outdoors and with his children, as well as visiting local springs and kayaking.